Jalen Gooch

Hosting 101: College Edition

Out of everything, I can confidently say that hosting get-togethers in my tiny, studio apartment is what I miss most from my time in college. I come from a lineage of hosts, having seen the lengths my mom and grandmother would go to in order to create a space filled with laughter, love, and most importantly good food. After hosting my first gathering (a Christmas Party in 2022), I quickly realized the time and effort they put into hosting was miles beyond what I had initially thought.

Nevertheless, I was hooked. I love the idea of being able to completely transform a space, using music, food, lighting, and more, into a place where people can come together, not worry about classes or school, and just enjoy each other’s company. From the time I started, to the time I graduated I was able to host around ten to fifteen different gatherings ranging from surprise murder mysteries to pizza parties.

I wanted to share everything I’ve learned through the many failures and successes I’ve experienced, to help take off a bit of the pressures of hosting. So let’s jump right in.

Pre-Party Prep

Plan Ahead, Start early

While I was able to host a few gatherings with only a week to prepare, the best parties I hosted without a doubt were those that I began to plan for at least a month in advance. The earlier you send out invitations, the more likely your guests are able to set that date aside and plan on attending. Having a good idea of how many people will be able to make it is extremely helpful in gauging the amount of food and activities to prepare.

The Guest List

At the end of the day, despite all the prep work you do, your guests are 50% of the experience. That being said, spend time crafting your guest list based on each gathering. Being the people pleaser that I am, I always held the belief that if I invited someone to one gathering, there was an expectation that I would invite them to every future event. I also would end up adding more people than necessary out of fear of leaving someone out and getting on their bad side. 

Having a small, intentionally chosen group of people is significantly better than inviting everyone you know in which clashing personalities are bound to occur (If you are also like me and have a tendency to switch personalities depending on the group of friends you are with, you’ll be exhausted by the end of the night from switching with every person you interact with). It is better to leave a few people off your guest list knowing that in the future you can always host a gathering that would best accommodate their needs and personality.

Sometimes you will run into the case where your friends ask if they can bring a friend or two to the event and in these situations trust your gut and use your best judgment. I have had friends bring people who effortlessly got along with everyone and heightened the overall experience, whereas others made everyone uncomfortable and I spent the rest of the night apologizing. Don’t be afraid to ask for a little bit more information about who they will be bringing before making your decision. 

Get Organized

When prepping for a party, I usually would make an excel sheet where I list all the planned expenses (decor, gift bags, food) alongside a schedule of activities and to-do list for the days leading up to the party. I tried to plan a set schedule for both when I wanted to have certain foods ready and available to guests as well as activities and games for the guests to do at different intervals. (Admittedly, I usually never kept up with the schedule once the party started because conversations would be flowing naturally and everyone would be having fun, but it is always a great backup to have if guests are taking longer to get comfortable and mingle.)

I have spent hours washing dishes the day after a gathering, so make things easy for yourself by using paper plates and silverware. I always look for compostable sets on amazon to combat the potential plastic waste. To-Go Boxes have been a Game-Changer for me especially when there is a lot of food leftover (make sure to place the boxes out before the first guest leaves and encourage them to take food). Sending your friends home will allow you to cut down on food waste and make cleaning up a little bit easier.

Prep Food Ahead of Time

The first few gatherings I hosted, I would wake up extremely early in the morning and start cooking. By the time I had finished, the party was about to begin or had already started and I was often too exhausted to enjoy the party to its full extent. Prepping as much food as you can ahead of time allows you to catch anything you might be missing and not have to do as much work the day of.

Something I learned that I wish I knew sooner is to always pre-portion or cut food when possible. There were so many times where I baked pies or cakes that no one touched, which I now realize is because no one wanted to be the first person to cut into the cake. When I pre-cut desserts or switched to bite-sized alternatives, I rarely had any leftovers.

If you are still prepping or working in the kitchen when guests are starting to arrive, prioritize getting out appetizers for the guests to have while you finish cooking. I would always have one or two people arrive earlier than I expected and offer to help and I would immediately say no because that would make me a bad host right? WRONG. 

Don’t be afraid to invite one or two friends you trust to come early and help you set up. A lot of people would rather help you prepare food and cook than watch you fight for your life in the kitchen while they wait for the other guests to arrive.

Make sure to ask on the invite or RSVP form if anyone has any dietary restrictions or allergies that you can take account of when crafting the menu. I usually would have a poster of the menu displayed near the food clearly indicating which food is safe or unsafe. (This also saves guests from having to ask or explain their restrictions and can help you ensure that everyone is able to have something to eat)

Music and Playlists

One of my favorite parts of hosting was creating a new playlist for each event based on the theme of the gathering. You can even include your guests as early as when you first invite them, by including a link for them to start adding songs to the playlist (Quick Psychology Hack, but the more people invest in something the more they value it, so if you can get people to invest in the party in small ways like this, they are much more likely to show up the day of). Usually during the party I would have a small poster up with a QR code linking to the playlist so that people were able to add to the playlist in real time. 

During the Party

Welcome Your Guests

The time is finally here and guests have started to arrive! I’m usually still in the kitchen at this point, but it’s always good etiquette to meet your guests at the door and welcome them in yourself. It’s okay to have friends get the door for you if your hands are full and if they know the person who is at the door, but in hindsight there have definitely been times where I’ve sent someone to open the door for someone they don’t know and it can be awkward for everyone involved. You want to make sure to set the party off on a warm and friendly tone.

At the entrance, I would usually set up a table with a polaroid camera (if it was their first time at my apartment and they wanted to be on my photo wall), the menu, music playlist, and other small things. 

Icebreakers

One of my favorite hosting tricks I learned was using name tags, especially if you are inviting a mix of people who might not know each other. Personally, I have lost count of the amount of times I’ve met someone for the first time and spend the entire rest of the night waiting for someone else to address them by their name so I can remember it. Using name tags eliminates this issue and can prevent any awkward situations that might come up during games or activities.

I’ll usually fill a Mason Jar ahead of time with icebreaker questions in case the conversation is struggling to get started. (I sprinkled the New York Times 30 Questions to Make Someone Fall in Love with You into it and no one has caught on yet). It’s important to try to find common interests between your guests who aren’t as familiar with each other and then after a while the conversation will flow naturally.

Photography

One of my biggest regrets looking back is not asking a friend to take photos at a good number of my early gatherings. I always assumed that as soon as I finished cooking I would grab my camera and snap some photos, but when the time came it was the last thing I wanted to do. There are so many gatherings I have no photos of for this reason, and others where I handed a friend a camera and told them to go crazy and I now have photos and videos that I will cherish for the rest of my life. If you ask this person in advance, make sure to get them a little something extra to thank them.

Dining

I always aim to have the food ready as soon as guests arrive, but I’ve learned it’s always helpful to have around an hour for all the guests to settle in and mingle before eating. Especially college students, after eating they tend to get tired and start to leave, and you don’t want your party to end before it has a chance to start.

A huge component I have consistently dropped the ball on is having water easily accessible for guests. I will always go out of my way to get as many assorted drinks as possible and spend hours making the perfect pinterest punch to be caught off-guard when someone just asks for water. Having a pitcher of water alongside all the other drinks (especially if you are serving alcohol) is the best way to go.

Enjoy Yourself

I always plan too many events or activities that never happen and stress myself out trying to get it done, but the most important thing you can do during the party is enjoy yourself. Your guests will pick up when you are stressed and it has the potential to ruin the vibe for everyone. Accept help when needed, take breaks, and be okay changing your plans as the party progresses. At the end of the day, the point of these gatherings are to spend time with the ones you love.

Post Party

Congratulations! You did it, the last guest has left and the party is complete. Regardless of if things went as you hoped, give yourself a pat on the back. Depending on my energy level, I might start cleaning up and do the dishes, but after a full day of hosting it’s always okay to leave most of the cleaning up until tomorrow. (There have been nights where I had a little bit too much to drink, yet woke up the next morning to find I had washed all the dishes and cleaned the entire apartment),

As guests leave, I typically will try and have small little thank you gifts or notes for them to take with them as they leave, but if you are unable to do this, you can always send a general thank you message through the evite, but I personally like to thank people individually over a quick text. This is also a good time to set up and share a link to a shared album where friends can upload any pictures they might have taken at the event.

I always love to have a little dinner or get coffee with my closest friends afterwards to “debrief” how the party went. Before you raise an eyebrow, it’s not that serious, we’ll just talk about the different things we each noticed, how people interacted with each other, etc. When you’re hosting there will be a lot of things that slip past your attention, so it’s always good to hear how things went from a guest’s perspective. 

If you’ve made it this far, thank you for taking the time to read through my ramblings. I hope you found at least one trick you can use at your next gathering or party. I still have a lot to learn and am desperately awaiting the time when I have my own space again and can host again. I’d love to hear what tips and tricks you have when it comes to hosting or any stories you have from being a guest or host, so please feel free to comment below! 

Until next time,

Cheers!